Being someone’s third wife is hard work, Carrie — but it will all be worth it

BORIS JOHNSON’S chequered love life has left some critics sceptical of his blossoming romance with Carrie Symonds, who is to become his third wife.  Carrie, 31, announced on Sunday they are engaged and she is expecting her first child with the 55-year-old Prime Minister.

One writer who also fell in love with an older man and became his third wife knows all too well the judgment Carrie faces. Here, she offers the new First Lady advice on overcoming the hurdles of being No3 – and how it will all be worth it.

“WHEN I said “I do” in spring 2008, little did I know I should have repeated it twice more.  Because when committing to my husband Pascal, I was really ­agreeing to take on his two exes — and all their kids, too.

We’ve all heard of the Second Wives’ Club. I’d like to flag the even more ­elusive Third Wives’ Club. It’s one hell of a tough role to take on. Like bride-to-be Carrie, I’m also a third wife.

I met my now-husband Pascal, who is a carpenter, in 2007. I was 36 and he was 46. We’d both been ­single for around 18 months. Being involved with someone older than me was intoxicating.

Middle-aged men, as Carrie knows, are supremely confident in their skin. They properly woo you.  Yet after the early, lusty honeymoon days have worn off, that’s when reality kicks in.

We know our blokes come into the relationship with more excess baggage than Joan Collins on her hols.  Wives and children who have gone before you have an opinion on you and your relationship, and an ongoing role in your other half’s life.

‘BIT ON THE SIDE’

Pascal’s social circle dismissed me as just another bit on the side.  I lost count of the times I heard: “It’ll never last.” Before I walked down the aisle I’d cottoned on that Pascal was not a saint.

When blokes like Boris Johnson, Donald Trump and my other half get to their third significant relationship, it’s fair to say they’ve earned the title “player”. They’ve been unfaithful and made mistakes. They’re human. I had The Talk with Pascal early on. The one that goes: “Cheat on me and it’s over.”

Carrie and Boris reportedly argue with gusto — who can forget their “red wine row” which hit the ­headlines last summer? — and we are no different.  There came a moment when I was heartily sick of being referred to as “the girlfriend”, and we married a year after we met.

Suddenly, as his wife, we went from being a frivolous couple to being taken seriously. Pascal loved planning our ­wedding. It was the first time he got to organise a ceremony his way.

I’d also been married before and was happy to let him unleash his inner Groomzilla.  Afterwards, I bent over backwards to get on with the stepkids.

My youngest stepson Antonio was 11 when I became his stepmum. Two of my sisters have kids and they helped me get into his psyche. My two older stepchildren were in their twenties when we first met. We have made the effort to get along because of the man we had in ­common.

My birthday was no longer as important as the kids’ ones were and Christmas was all about them too. As a third wife, you have to be gracious and accepting of this.

But there are limits and I quickly learned to stand my ground.  Boris might be PM but Carrie and their unborn child should be the priority in the Johnson world.   Previous wives and family shadow your future.

I won’t open the can of worms that is my relationship with my husband’s exes. But at first there were tears — and they were mine.

All I could change is how I responded. So I ignored them and adopted Michelle Obama’s mantra: “When they go low, we go high.”

‘NOT A DOORMAT’

That’s why I drew a line about what I wouldn’t put up with.  I refused to go on family holidays or go to events with any of my ­husband’s exes present.

Why should I live in his past when I prefer to focus on creating our future? My in-laws and step kids know I’m not a doormat. I’m their son and father’s wife, but I’m also me.

We are celebrating our twelfth ­wedding anniversary in May. ­Nowadays almost half of marriages end in divorce and two out of three “blended families” don’t make it.

I regularly congratulate myself for having got this far. There are ­sacrifices, though. Devastatingly, my eldest stepson contracted skin cancer in 2013 and died a year later.

The grief inflicted on Pascal and my two other stepchildren meant I shelved any plans for us to have a child together. It would have been too much for them to handle.

Today we have created a life in a gorgeous part of France.  I’m focused on our future. I’ve got the Third Wife role so sussed that the only thing my husband regrets is not having met me sooner.

He is happier in his skin and I’ve found I can be as tough as old boots when I need to be. People try to write off us third wives as a bit of totty. But we are VERY strong women.

Good luck to Carrie.  And the Johnson clan? I reckon they’re lucky to have her.

• GOT a story? RING The Sun on 0207 782 4104 or WHATSAPP on 07423720250 or EMAIL [email protected]